


Inked

by marinandthegays



Series: Inked Chronicles [1]
Category: Star Wars
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Emotional, Fluff, Height Differences, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Multi, One Shot Collection, Past Sexual Abuse, Self-Harm, Tattoos
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-03-31 10:24:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13973055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marinandthegays/pseuds/marinandthegays
Summary: A one shot collection of my favourite Star Wars ships/characters. Enjoy.





	Inked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben Solo's life is taking a downfall. So what's the solution to his problems? A summer with his Uncle and a peculiar tattoo parlour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS! 
> 
> This contains mentions of sexual assault, self-harm and suicide. Please read with caution.

“You’re going to be staying with Uncle Luke for the summer.” Han irritably informs Kylo of his so-called punishment, his face etched with frustration, whereas Leia’s etched with sadness.

“We both decided that it’s... for the best. With everything that’s been happening lately... we just don’t want you around this type of environment right now.” Leia adds on, fiddling with her fingers anxiously.

“Is that what you do with all your problems?” Kylo speaks up for the first time since he was called into the gloomy and distasteful living room, peering up at the two supposed role models in front of him and arches a cocky eyebrow at the distraught pair.

“I beg your pardon?“ Han was taken aback from his abrupt demeanour; only seconds ago was he quietly sat on the sofa, hands tightly folded together on his still lap. Now, his eyes glimmer with anger yet a tinge of sorrow was seen only if you looked deeper.

With that, Kylo stands up and towers over his parents. “Do you always just send them over to fucking Luke when shit hits the fan?“ he snaps, clenching his jaw tightly.

“How dare you-“ but before Han could say anything, he was cut off within an instant.

“You just don’t know how to deal with me... do you?” Kylo’s voice rises. “I’m just this- this dumb little problem that you need to get rid of, so you can go back to doing what you do best; never being here.” he spits out.

“That’s not true at all, Ben. You’re being ridiculous!” Leia exclaims, throwing her hands up into the air, giving up with this problematic attitude of his. Han just lamely stands still, swallowing a rough lump forming in his throat.

“Ridiculous? Me?” Kylo scoffs and waves a hand in dismissal. “The only ones being ridiculous here is _both_ of you.” he states, pointing at them. “You pretend like I don’t have something wrong with me, so you ignore it... and... and play happy families, when you _know_ for a fact that this family is breaking apart: layer by layer we’re peeling at the seems.” It was correct. For many years, this once loving family was becoming suffocatingly toxic and too overwhelming for all members.

Both parents stand in complete and utter shock from Kylo’s truthful but harsh words. Though, the fake astonished couple knew all of this already – all they needed was a reality check. Even if it was quite rude, tough love is crucial and required sometimes. The two gaze at each other, trying to figure out what to do or reply, however they come up with absolutely nothing. And this only confirms Kylo’s tainted hope and mind, so he takes this opportunity to continue on with his rant.

Cocking his head to the side gently, “aren’t you going through a divorce right now?” a sinister smile tugged at the corner of Kylo’s lips as Leia’s mouth drops open and Han’s eyes widen with surprise and regret.

“H-How... how did you-“

“Yet you all pretend that everything’s sunshine and rainbows.” A forced chuckle escapes Kylo’s mouth, “you really thought I wouldn’t find out?” he chomps down onto the inside of his cheek, rage and pain consuming every single part of him.

“We didn’t want you to find out like this, Ben.” Leia’s voice felt small against the sickening tension in the room. She felt helpless in this mess.

Tears glisten in Kylo’s eyes, but his face was still sour and bitter with hatred and confusion. “Everything around me is falling apart and I can’t get a damn minute to breathe. To think.” he takes a deep shaky breath, “but I feel like I’m just too damaged... too broken to even change my life around.” Kylo’s voice cracks at the end of the sentence, his knees buckle and he stumbles onto the floor with a loud thud, breathing heavy as salty, hot tears seep down his rosy cheeks.

“Oh, Ben... don’t say such stupid things like that!” Han shouts, clenching and unclenching his fists. Han begins pacing nervously, heart racing and palms beginning to sweat. He hated seeing his boy like _this_. Han just wants Ben to get help. And Luke will offer that assistance: both Han and Leia were sure of it.

Leia shoots a fierce glare in Han’s direction, vexed by his poor choice of words. She bends down onto the floor, running a hand through his tangled hair. “You’re not broken nor damaged, dear. You’re my-“ she pauses, “ _our_ son. Our beautiful and handsome son, that just needs some time away from here. Especially at a time like this. It’s not good for you, sweetheart. Can’t you see that?” she talks to him sweetly, her words soothing him as she tenderly runs her nails onto his scalp, a tickling but calming sensation overtaking the worries of Ben Solo’s thoughts.

Han slumps down next to Kylo’s shaking figure on the opposite side, “we love you, alright? We’re doing this for your own good, okay?” Han tries to reassure the blubbering boy by patting his back, yet it didn’t really help all that much. However, Kylo just appreciated that they were actually here for him for once. He’s craved for this type of moment so many times before. And a strike of wishfulness sparks something within and he could tell that this was the start of something new.

Hopefully.

***

“It’s so great to see you, Ben!” Luke grins, pulling him into a crushing hug.

“It’s _Kylo_.” he grumbles, not in the mood with Luke’s cheerfulness considering it was very early in the morning (well for Kylo, 9 was deemed too soon) and all Kylo wants right now is sleep; especially after the disastrous and disappointing trip on the way here.

Releasing Luke’s arms from Kylo, he pats his back instead, “what is that? Is it like a thing you ‘cool’ kids are doing nowadays? Giving yourselves alter egos with predictable exteriors and weird code names?” Luke taunts and Kylo rolls his eyes at his comment, storming inside the somewhat nicely decorated hallway.

“Hey! C’mon _Kylo_ , I was just kidding. You can call yourself whatever you’d like, if that makes you feel better?” Luke questions, closing the door behind him and stood next to Kylo; who was busy checking out the area.

“Yeah, sure. Whatever.” Kylo mutters, taking in every detail of the place that he’ll be staying in for the whole summer. Yay.

Luke clasps his hands together, “right, well, I’ve got some paperwork that needs to get done. But you’ll be alright on your own, _yes_?” he narrows his eyes at Kylo, who wasn’t paying that much attention to what Luke was saying; he was too intrigued by a beautiful painting on the wall.

“And you’ll come to your appointment on time, yes?” he asks, folding his arms together and waits for a reply. But he was still too engrossed with the way the patterns danced around the picture, and the way the watercolours splashed and trickled here and there. It was just so... perfect. Luke quickly glances to the painting too and a small smile appears.

“Oh, so that’s what’s caught your eye, eh kid?” he moves in front of the painting and points behind him, forcing Kylo to stare at Luke instead. “Our town likes community and one day we had this art show. The girl that did this is an _amazing_ artist; I’ve never seen anything like it before. Sadly, she didn’t win and she just gave it to me.” he explains and Kylo furrows his eyebrows.

“She just... gave it to _you_?” he ponders.

“Yes.” Luke says, turning around to admire it for himself. “It was weird. She looked so upset and I tried to give it back to her, but she was gone. Haven’t seen her around since.” he shrugs at the mere odd memory. He then clears his throat and stands up straight, “well I’ll be in my office if you need me. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do and be here on time.” he points a stern finger at Kylo, slowly bouncing it up and down.

“Yeah, yeah.” Kylo utters, dismissing him. He heads upstairs to place his bags and suitcase into the pristine spare bedroom.

***

Hands were stuffed in his pockets as he strolls down the road amongst the evening sky, lost in destroying thoughts. The appointment he just had with Luke didn’t go too well – it was traumatic reliving memories he pushed away for a reason. Now they were swimming around without a care and it was hurting Kylo’s heart. But all he could do was keep every emotion inside of him, because he wasn’t ready to let them all out. Not now. Not ever.

Kylo searches around, looking for something to do to disperse the overbearing thoughts floating around. There was the movies up ahead. A bowling alley nearby. Shops, but they were all beginning to close. And a-

Suddenly, a short girl appears around the corner and down an alleyway to dump the two large and heavy bags into the bins. She scrunches her nose up at the horrid smell and enters back into the building she exited from. Kylo’s eyes flicker up at the small, illuminated sign.

Dameron Tats.

A tattoo parlour. That’s something Kylo could do to kill time. Plus he’s always wanted to get some more tattoos, yet has never been sure what to actually get. Back at home, his ‘pals’ had many tattoos. All over. Some were nice and some were, well, tacky. But you didn’t hear that from him. The only one he has is on the back of his neck, a sixteen-rayed symbol inscribed within a hexagon; red and black were the colours ingrained into his delicate, scarred skin. And he had to get it, it wasn’t his decision... it was one of the ways to be a ‘true’ member. It was supposed to be this meaningful and symbolic thing. But to Kylo, all it brings is dread; it’s a horrid reminder of everything he’s done.

Striding up to the door, he looks in the window to see no one. Pursing his lips together, he quickly peers at the opening/closing times sheet stuck neatly onto the side. They close at 8 on weekdays. It’s around 6:30 now, so it should be fine to enter.

Pushing the door open, a bell chimes. Kylo tentatively walks up to the counter, waiting to hear movement or something. But there was nothing. This was a bad idea anyway, Kylo thought foolishly. About to turn around, he immediately hears footsteps and glimpses over to see the same girl.

Beautiful was all he could think. She was beautiful. Her hair was short, in a half up/half down style, her eyes were shining so vividly that the room appeared to be more brighter than before. A large grin adorns her plump lips, as she graciously walks behind the counter.

“Welcome to Dameron Tats, do you have an appointment?” the girl interrogates, raising her nicely shaped eyebrows at the astonished boy in front of her.

“I-I...” Kylo stutters, as his words pathetically failed him. All he could think about was how much he wanted to get to know more of this beauty before his tired eyes. Clearing his throat and gaining some decorum, “no, actually, I was wondering if I could book one?” he asks. The girl nods enthusiastically, bending down to attain a big book. She flicks through many pages, before finding the right one.

“What day and time?” she queries, eyes scanning at the handwriting on the page.

“Uh, um... whenever. I don’t mind.” Kylo awkwardly scratches the back of his neck, feeling lame.

“Is Thursday at 2 good for ya? We’re all booked up tomorrow, but Thursday’s lookin’ like a quiet day.” she states, eyeing Kylo.

“Y-Yeah. Yeah, sure.” he whispers.

“Awesome! Do you want it to be with Poe or Finn?” she asks, placing her elbows onto the counter and putting her face in between her hands as she gazed upon the wonderful figure in front of her.

“Uh...”

“Rey why don’t you do it?” a voice speaks up. They both glimpse over to see a handsome black man, dressed incredibly well and had a few cute tattoos here and there on his huge arms. So that was her name... Rey. Kylo side glances at her and she was rolling her eyes at the guy walking up to them.

“Finn we’ve been over this. I can’t do it. You know that.” she grits her teeth, her voice trying to keep positive but was ultimately deteriorating.

“Well _I_ can’t do 2 on Thursday anyway. I have the dentist.” Finn says with a smirk.

“Then Poe can-“

“He can’t. If you look there,” he points to a specific place on the book, “he’s already booked to do a few piercings at 1:30, which will go over 2. So the only person who can do it is... well, you.” Finn folds his arms together, feeling smug.

Rey gulps, looking at Kylo and then back at Finn. A fake smile instantly spreads onto her mouth, “can I talk to you for a second to discuss this more... privately?” her voice was sickly and too sweet. Finn agrees and they head over to the other side of the room.

“Did you two hooligans plan this?” Rey hisses, clenching her fists together, stress and annoyance coursing through her veins.

“Not at all. Rey, we just want you to get back into your art again. We know how much it means to you.” Finn whispers, placing an encouraging hand onto Rey’s tense shoulder.

“I’ve told you I don’t want to, goddamnit!” she shouts a little too loudly. Kylo glances over, concern and worry clear in his facial features. But Finn and Rey both smile at him for reassurance at the same time. Kylo turns back around, taking a few peeks at some of the designs they have around.

With a sigh, “fine, I’ll do it. This is for _him_ though, not for myself nor any of you.” she protests.

Finn’s face twists into happiness and hugs her crushingly, even picking her up. Rey couldn’t help but let out a chuckle. In the corner, Kylo secretly watches the joyful souls, hoping one day he’d feel some type of cheerfulness too.

***

“Have you thought about a design yet?” Rey sits down next to Kylo on the plush sofas, tapping away on her phone, not looking up once as she was obviously engrossed with whatever was on her phone. Kylo peels his eyes away from the book full of random but intricate and detailed designs to watch Rey for a few moments, completely forgetting she even asked him a question.

She locks her phone, putting it into her jean pocket and raises her eyebrows, “so...” she wonders, waiting for a response.

“Oh! Right. Yes.” Kylo scrambles around to search for the right page, his hands shaking slightly from nerves: he wasn’t sure whether it was because of the thought of the needle or the fact that Rey was quite close to him. She smelt like lavender and lemons, a combination he hadn’t really appreciated until now. “I really like this one.” he points to a particular design, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear.

Rey glances down immediately acknowledging the design as her own. She made this ages ago, although it’s a small scale, it had so much meaning inch by inch. A string of many differently shaped water-coloured roses, all joined hand-in-hand together beautifully. It was a dedication... to what could’ve been.

Then her eyes peer up at Kylo’s and they connect with each other. “Are you sure you don’t want anything else?” her voice was soft and slow, Kylo sensed uncertainty in her tone.

“I’m very sure.” he replies, his voice just as soft and slow as hers; never breaking the eye contact with her once.

Rey slams the book, putting it under her arm and stands up. “If you’ll follow me into the back room please.” she confidently states, walking ahead. Her mind floated with strain as this was going to be her first piece in a while. She couldn’t help but feel tension as this could go wrong in so many ways, considering she hasn’t touched anything to do with art for a long, long time. Sadly. Kylo felt somewhat similar to Rey, yet for differing reasons. He shudders at the sight of the sharp needles, feeling slight breezes on the back of his neck since his hair was tied up into a neat bun as he followed Rey’s fast paced walk.

Guiding him over to the chair, Kylo was trying to get comfortable whilst Rey prepares the equipment, the design prominent in her shrill brain. Shoving gloves onto her clean hands, she takes a deep breath trying to get a hold of herself. It shouldn’t be a big deal. It’s just one thing. You can do this. She told herself over and over again.

Plastering a grin onto her face, she walks over and plops onto the stool beside him. “You said you wanted it on your forearm, correct?” she double-checks, just in case he changed his mind.

Kylo nods his head, trying to swallow the forming lump in his throat away. As she tenderly pulls up his plain red jumper, Kylo glances away. He felt insecure and shame of what he did to himself, he hates having to see it every single day. Even if most of them were faint, he could still see every single one. And the one he despised the most was the recovering and recent one. That was 2 months ago.

Although Rey notices them, she chooses to ignore and disregards pointing anything out about them; not wanting to make him feel uneasy. Instead she continues doing her job, doing her best to make sure that Kylo felt restful and secure.

“So I notice you have another tattoo...” Rey breaks the ice, trying to make conversation in this quiet and edgy atmosphere: making sure not to tread on the obvious eggshells.

Kylo swiftly turns to stare at Rey as she outlines one of the roses. “Um... yes. I got it a few years ago. It was an... instantaneous decision, I guess you could say.” he murmurs the last part.

“Well I think it’s lovely. The colours suit you – they’re like your aesthetic.” she stops to dab on his forearm and gestures to his outfit which consists of his red jumper that Leia made him for Christmas and his typical black jeans.

Kylo couldn’t help but break out into a small smile. “My aesthetic, huh?” he bites his lip playfully to stifle a laugh.

“Well when you came in the other day, you were wearing red and black too.” Rey remembers, finding his fashion sense to be simplistic but effective. Rey’s casual fashion sense generally consists of her old Vans or Converse, (usually) leggings and whatever clean merchandise top she could find. Some days she wore flannels, some days she wore denim jackets. It all depended on how she felt that day.

Kylo felt somewhat flattered. “Thank you. I think.” and Rey smiles, carrying out with the plan to outline first and then add the spices of colour second.

After many random conversations and dumb jokes, Rey finishes on the last touches of the magnificent tattoo before standing up to admire her incredible work. She hasn’t felt this motivated and content with something in a very long time. Lowkey, she has a strong desire that Kylo has brought motive to her once struggling self. And for that, she was grateful.

“It’s beautiful.” Kylo compliments. He gawks at it, in complete and utter awe at the way it looks in all aspects and interpretations. He loves it. It’s the first thing he’s going to look at instead of his scars, which was one of the reasons he wanted to get this in the first place. Now, he’s glad he had the courage to do so. He couldn’t help but think that Rey was a guidance for his bravery too. And for that, he was grateful.

Like you, Rey thought and couldn’t help but blush at her flirty comment. Some strands of his dark hair added more depth and frame to his face... she couldn’t help but think of how amazing he looked right now. Especially in this lighting, whilst he concentrated on the design she inked onto his engaging skin.

Carefully, she bandages the new tattoo up for him, making sure to not harm him or awkwardly brush past any of his scars as she did so.

“It’s not too tight is it?” she questions, peering up at Kylo who was already looking back at Rey.

“Just perfect.” he responds and she smiles. Rey helps him out of the chair, placing a small hand onto his large and muscular back, leading him back towards the counter.

As she runs around the shop to gather a few things, Kylo pulls his jumper back down gently and smiles brightly at the heavenly picture that now adorned his skin underneath the bandage. Once she enters behind the counter, she jots something down onto a ripped piece of paper and leaves it there whilst she moves towards the cash register, telling him the price.

Handing over the amount, he places a few coins into the creatively decorated tip jar on the side of the counter. “Thank you, Rey. Your work is spectacular. I may come back for more.” he tells her.

I hope you do, Rey thinks again. She grips onto the ripped paper from before about to say something, but foolishly decides against the terrible idea and deems it as embarrassing herself.

However, just before Kylo exits out of the doorway, Rey couldn’t prevent the words from leaving her mouth, “Kylo wait!” she shouts, dashing over to his side. Kylo stops almost instantly and glimpses down at her, raising his eyebrows.

“Let’s... hang out sometime.” Rey cooly demands, giving him the note where she had written her phone number down on it in scratchy handwriting.

Kylo is taken aback, absolutely amazed by her refreshing confidence. He smiles warmly at her, gladly accepting the paper out of her warm hands and brushes his cold ones against hers tenderly.

“I’d love to.”

***

Many days flutter by and the bond between Kylo and Rey continues to grow with each passing second. Kylo's therapy sessions have been up and down; sometimes they went well, whereas sometimes... Kylo ended up crying or leaving the house and turning to Rey for solice. Like right now. They lay in the back of Rey’s dirty red truck, glancing up at the starry night sky.

“Rey?” Kylo asks, looking down to see her already staring back at him with a small smile upon her lips.

“Hmm?” she hums, raising her eyebrows at him. She was too busy focusing on certain parts of Kylo’s facial features, wanting to remember each and every detail for later. For some reason, he just sprung out so many graceful ideas and he really encourages her to pursue her artwork and to carry on tattooing.

“Why did you stop your art?” he wonders. It may be an invasive question, but considering they’ve spent a lot of time with each other recently, Kylo thought selfishly maybe he ought to know.

Sitting up, Rey sighs. “I don’t like talking about it all that much.” she says. Before Kylo could tell her she didn’t need to pressure herself to tell him such a personal thing, she shockingly continues. “But you’re an exception... you’re different. In a good way. And I like y-“ she forces a cough aggressively, “it. I like it.” she recovers herself.

Kylo moves onto his side to rest his head onto his elbow, listening intently to what she said. “Please don’t feel obligated to tell me just because I asked, Rey.” Kylo finally gets the right words out to her, placing a freezing hand onto hers and giving it a squeeze. She clasps a hot, sweaty palm onto his and squeezes back. Much harder though.

“I want to.” she inspirits.

With a deep shaky breath, “I always used art as a way to cope, I guess.” she rolls her eyes, already hating how she’s worded this upcoming monologue of hers. “I never knew my parents, the foster system, for me, was terrible and... I was mainly living on the streets for most of my life.” she blows a piece of hair away from her face, “I got taught how to do art by many other people similar to me. Most were actually really kind too.” she smiles at some of the fond memories that whizzed into her mind. “I met Finn on the streets too, y’know my co-worker back at the shop?” Kylo nods, remembering how pretty he was. “He’s always had my back and he’s like a brother to me. We’ve been through a lot, him and I.” she gulps anxiously. “One day he met Poe, his fiancé, y’know the one who owns the tattoo shop?” Kylo nods again, although he’s never met him, Kylo assumes he’s a cool guy, since he hangs around with awesome people. “Anyway, Poe thankfully got us both jobs there. He’s great.” she runs a hand through her hair, tugging at the roots angrily.

“About 2 years ago I... was assaulted. Sexually. By some guy I didn’t even know. It put me off art completely.” her hands start to shake. “I-I shut myself out from the world. Didn’t turn up to work. Didn’t sleep enough. Didn’t eat well. It was... the worst time of my life. I wasn’t m-myself. I felt so used... and violated. I was disgusted with my own body.” a tear slips from her eye and she wipes it away quickly, mad at herself for crying. “Finn and Poe helped me out so much during those times. I didn’t deserve it because I was so rude to them. I-I pushed them away, I snapped at them, I was awful to be around.” she sighs, twiddling with her thumbs. “I regret it so much, I-I shouldn’t have lashed out at them. It was wrong and I see that now.” her sadness hurt Kylo’s fragile heart and he sits up, comforting her by holding her hand, wanting, no, _needing_ her to be okay again.

“Skip to around a year later or something, Poe suggested that I enter this art show competition the town does, thinking that if I got back into art it’ll help me get better. So I did. I put my heart and soul into that damn piece and I lost. Didn’t come 2nd nor 3rd. I came 8th and that just made me think that I was this big failure... that I wasn’t meant to do anything with my life because I had no meaning, I was nothing. And the fact that I felt like I had lost my touch with art... l-like I had f-forgotten how to do it? It broke me. I thought I wasn’t c-capable of doing anything anymore.” more tears start to spill from her upset eyes. Kylo’s eyes widened: this story sounds familiar. Too familiar.

“But Kylo?” she whispers, gazing into his eyes for the first time throughout her explanation of her experiences. “In this short amount of time I’ve known you, you’ve truly shown me that I _am_ capable. That I’m _something_. _Somebody_. That I _can_ do it.” she lifts his hand up and kisses it kindly. “And for that, I’m so grateful.” she grins at him and he thought she looked so cute.

“It’s Ben.” Kylo whispers. If she was going to share things, then Ben thought he should too. It was only fair.

“What?” Rey questions, trying to blink back the newer tears.

“My name’s actually Ben. Ben Solo. Kylo Ren is my...” he sighs. “It was a name given to me by this ‘gang’, I guess you could say... that I was involved in.” he bites his lip harshly. “I was young and persuaded into it. And that’s why I have that tattoo-“ he points to the back of his neck, “I hate it. It reminds me of so many bad memories. Bad things _I_ did. That I regret doing so much. And I hate myself for it. So damn much.” Ben looks up at the sky, trying to prevent any tears from forming.

“I don’t want to go into too much detail about the things I did, because you wouldn’t look at me the same way Rey. And I don’t think I could _ever_ live with myself knowing that you hate me for the things I’ve stupidly done.” his voice cracks yet he tries to pull himself together.

“You didn’t judge me did you?” Ben shakes his head. “So then I will never judge you either. Only tell me when you’re ready.” she reassures him by giving him an uplifting smile.

“My parents were absent: always too busy with work or themselves. I know they meant well and sometimes they were brilliant parents. But at times when I needed them the most? They were nowhere to be found. They didn’t know how to deal with me when I got involved, so they pretended I was okay... like nothing was wrong with me.” sorrow is etched onto Ben’s face.

“I’ve beaten people up... sold illegal drugs and weapons... all in the name of some pathetic gang code.” he scoffs at himself, disgusted at the terrible memories that flashed into his mind. “One time I tried to get out. But the boss, Snoke, that’s what we called him... I didn’t know his real name, nor do I want to.” his voice was faltering. “We got into a fight, he gave me this scar.” he points to his face. “And he was going to kill me! So... so I threw acid at him, disfigured his face and he died before he could make it to the hospital. I didn’t mean to kill him. I-“ he takes a deep, shaky breath. “I didn’t mean to do it, Rey. It was in self-defence. But every damn night, I can still see his face.” he body starts to shake as he relives the flashback. “He literally haunts me even after death. And the rest of the gang came after me... led by their damn new leader, Hux. And they tortured me... _ruined_ me for killing fucking Snoke. They left me to rot. Some days I even wish I was back there...” he chokes up. “But these ladies... Rose and Jessika... they were lovers. They were so considerate and caring... to me? They saved me...” he takes a fast glimpse at Rey, nothing but bewilderment on his face, “ _me_?” he shakes his head, still wondering why they helped him when he had nothing to offer to the world other than despair.

“I wasn’t myself even after that though. I hurt myself, Rey.” he points to his arms and thighs, “I... almost killed m-myself because of the things I did. And that was deemed the last straw to my parents, so they made me come here for therapy with my Uncle, since he’s a therapist.” he runs his hands over his face, rubbing at the skin and feeling a sour headache coming through. “But I just couldn’t live with the guilt from the things that I‘ve done to people...” fat hot tears fall down his cheeks, repulsed at himself. Rey disliked seeing Ben like this, she just wanted to kiss him until he was better again; kiss away every ounce of pain he felt.

Rey places a hand on top of Ben’s. “You’re not alone, Ben.” she states. Ben glances down into her red eyes. He absolutely adored the way she said his name... the way it sounded was like paradise to him.

Ben places a hand on top of hers. “Neither are you, Rey.” he responds, a small smile upon his pouty lips. Rey leans up to match Ben’s towering height, placing a cold hand onto his heavenly jawline. She presses a gentle kiss onto his lips. Ben tangles a warm hand into her hair as they continue to make out underneath the pale moonlight.

***

Week after week go by within an instant. Ben and Rey spend a lot of time with each other; their relationship was deepening and becoming something beautiful. His therapy sessions have been improving immensely, he's slowly recovering each and every day and that was all thanks to Luke and Rey's guiding hands in the right direction.

Ben was waiting patiently for Rey to finish up with a client. Poe and Finn were designing new tattoos with each other, speaking lightly about each other’s work. Ben watches the sweet couple, beaming at how lovely they were together.

“Hey Ben? We could use another opinion.” Finn gestures for him to come over to them. Ben obliges, leaning over the sofa to get a good look at the patterns.

“They are really cool.” Ben praises.

“We _know_ that.” Poe playfully rolls his eyes. “But we’re wondering if we should combine them together. To add a bit more pizazz, y’know?” he continues, placing the pieces of paper together. 

“Well-“

“Don’t ask him for his opinion guys.” Rey enters the room, placing her hands onto her hips. “He’s just going to agree with whatever you say to not hurt your feelings.” she says with a smirk.

“That’s not-“

“Yes it is.” Rey chuckles. She knew him all too well.

“Okay heteros, we just want an opinion here.” Poe states, showing Rey the designs put together.

She scrunches up her face, “God don’t do that, it looks awful.” Rey can be brutally honest when she wants to be.

“Told you.” Finn taunts Poe, snatching his piece back off him. Poe scowls and crosses his arms.

“Sorry Poe.” Ben awkwardly pats his back.

Rey moves close to Ben. “I’m almost done and then I’m all yours.” Rey murmurs, pecking Ben’s lips and he blushes at the affection. She gathers the objects and goes back into the room.

Ben turns around. “Is this the part where you’re going to tell me to take care of her or you’ll beat my ass?” he asks.

“Nah. I was gonna ask if anyone wanted a drink though.” Finn replies. Ben shakes his head and Poe puts two fingers up signalling his regular order. Finn walks into a different room.

“I’d want you to beat my ass anyways.” Poe confesses cheekily to Ben, making him laugh.

“I heard that.” Finn yells from the other room. “But I also second it.” he pops his head around the door with a grin. 

After chattering with Finn and Poe for a while, Rey finally finishes up with the client. “Bye!” they both shout out, exiting the tattoo parlour and walking towards Luke’s house, hand in hand.

As soon as they enter the house, Rey’s eyes flicker to something on the wall, recognition clear in her eyes. “That’s... that’s the painting I did!” Rey exclaims, striding up to the art piece, shock clear upon her adorable facial features. “It’s so-“

Ben stands beside Rey, admiring her work also. “Talented? Brilliant? Incredible? Amazing? Show stopping? Spectacular? Never the same? Totally unique? Completely not ever been done before?” he motions with his arms just like Lady Gaga does in the video.

Rey snorts and pushes Ben softly. “You’re such a dork.” she comments, which only makes Ben’s smile wider at her contagious happiness. He hasn’t felt this amazing in so long. And he’s finally found it with this lovely and inspiring woman beside him.

“No but seriously, Rey, it’s lovely. In fact it’s all the positive adjectives that you can even think of.” Ben stares into her eyes when he tells her that and she blushes.

“I’ve brought some dinner, Kylo!” Luke calls out, closing the door behind him. There were two white plastic bags in each of his hands. He looks up, stunned at the person beside Ben.

“It’s _you_!” he gasps and glimpses over to the painting, then back at Rey.

“I remember.” Rey says, walking over and outstretching a hand for him to shake: in which he gladly accepts.

“Your painting is insanely glorious! I’ve never seen anything like it before.” he compliments. “And between you and me, you deserved that first place, dear.” he utters. Rey chuckles and thanks him.

“Sorry to cut this arse-licking short, Uncle, but can we eat already? I’m starving!” Ben complains, rubbing his stomach dramatically.

“Kylo’s always been a greedy git.” Ben scoffs at his Uncle’s somewhat truthful statement, rolling his eyes. “Come, have dinner with us.” Luke offers, with a warm smile and gestures to the bags in his hands.

“Sure, why not.” Rey throws her hands up into the air. She’d love to spend more time with Ben anyway, especially before he goes back home. Ben holds onto her hand, heading off towards the kitchen.

“And it’s _Ben_.” he grumbles quietly to his Uncle as he passes by.

***

All good things must come to an end. Autumn was just around the corner as summer was coming to a swift close.

Ben sluggishly places his suitcase and bags onto the floor near the front door, feeling glum and grim about this whole moment. He itches for more time with Rey; it was just the beginning of their blossoming relationship. Yet time came to crush the wholesome party of two.

Luke places hasty kisses onto Ben’s cheeks. “I’m _so_ proud of you, Ben.” he says with pride and Ben couldn’t help but smile slightly, feeling proud of himself too. For trying. For continuing even when he didn’t want to. For ridding himself from his long-term pain.  He was just so proud that he had finished his tiresome but helpful sessions with his Uncle Luke, and couldn't help but feel like a whole new person altogether.

The doorbell rings and Luke answers it. A purple haired woman enters with Leia. Leia’s eyes fall onto Ben and she clasps her hands onto her mouth, tears springing into her tired eyes.

“My boy.” she sobs, storming over to wrap her arms around him tightly, stroking his fluffy hair with her hand. “My _precious_ , _beautiful prince_.” she pulls away, moving any strands of hair away from his gorgeous face. “You look better than ever!” she squeals, smiling so wide and proud of the man that stood in front of her. 

“As do you.” Ben notices, nodding his head to the purple-haired woman happily conversing to Luke about something.

“That’s Amilyn Holdo, my girlfriend.” she glances back over her shoulder to gaze lovingly at her. “I think you’ll love her.” she informs Ben cheerfully.

“Where’s dad?” Ben asks.

Rolling her eyes, she looks back into her son’s refreshed eyes. “Last I heard he was touring around France with his beau Lando.” she states, pursing his lips together. “Typical Han.” she adds on. “But in a way, I’m glad we’re not together anymore. I’m so much happier with Amilyn and I’m certain Han’s heart is in a much better place too. It was mutual, you know?” she explains and Ben nods, comprehending the situation completely. It’s probably for the best.

All four of them chat together for a while, reminiscing on the good ol’ times and reminding each other of specific things. Time goes on and they’re prepared to go. Ben couldn’t help but feel a tinge of disappointment that Rey didn’t turn up this whole time. But she did truthfully tell him that she wasn’t good with goodbyes. Which is understandable.

Luke says his goodbyes to Ben, Amilyn and Holdo; promising to meet up more often as they hardly see each other anymore. Also he offers his assistance to place Ben’s bags into the boot of the car. As they all congregate outside, talking and joking around whilst Luke and Ben places his belongings into the car boot, Ben could hear a faint voice from the distance. Turning around, he saw Rey running towards him, breathless and he was almost positive she was teary eyed too.

“Ben!” she shouts, unsure whether or not she had caught his attention. But little did she notice that Ben could spot her within any crowded room. She was one of a kind. And she made him feel like home. No sparks flying nor those butterflies everybody speaks so fondly of – just home. Oh, what a delightful home she was indeed. And it’s all he could’ve ever dreamed of.

“We’ll be in the car.” Amilyn mentions, pointing behind her as they all acknowledge Rey’s upcoming presence. Beforehand, Leia raises her eyebrows up and down at Ben in a playful and jolly way, terrific to see Rey, the girl she has heard so much about from Ben via phone calls, for the first time.

Leia squeezes her son’s arm tightly, “she seems lovely.” she comments, glancing over to her and then back at Ben.

“That’s because she is.” Ben replies, smiling up at his mother. She smiles back and walks over to Luke to talk, giving them some alone time.

“I didn’t think you’d come.” Ben admits to Rey once she caught up.

“Yeah well I’m not so good with goodbyes. But you’re always an exception, Ben Solo.” she jabs a finger into his shoulder, smirking.

They gawk at each other for some time, taking in each of their appearances for as long as they could. “I’m going to miss you. So much.” Ben speaks up, eyes watering.

“We’ll see each other soon.” Rey declares. And she would definitely make sure of it. She wasn’t going to let Ben Solo slip from her hands that easily. She had only just met him this summer and already she wants to spend her entire lifetime with him. Forever and always. 

Ben, a blubbering mess about having to leave the love of his life, grips onto her thighs to lift her up onto his waist. He roughly presses his lips onto hers, wanting to keep the taste of her on his mouth forever and ever.

“I love you, Rey.” Ben admits as soon as he pulls away from kissing her soft, trembling lips.

“I know, Ben.” she gives him a weak smile, pulling him into a bone crushing hug. He hugs back, just as tight and was trying to savour every ounce of this bittersweet moment together. The last one he’ll have with her, for a while at least.

As they finally let each other go, Ben and Leia gets into the car and he was already waving before he put his seatbelt on. Luke waves also, a small smile upon his thin lips at the two lovebirds in front of him. Rey sternly motions for him to put on his seatbelt though and he grins, doing as he was told. Rey blows multiple kisses to him, whereas Ben just stares longingly at her, drinking in the sight of her as much as he could. Once they were out of sight from each other, they both sigh and immediately peer up at the sky with knowing smiles.

Maybe time wasn’t on their side today, but one day, it will be worth the wait. And these two broken-hearted, lonely and lost souls will tremendously float back to each other eventually. As time goes on, they may alter themselves; for better or for worse. But their love for each other? It will never, ever die. It’ll only evolve into something more magical as time passes by. And that is real love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank u so much for taking ur time to read these one shot collections! i'm really sorry if any of this was triggering for you, i'm here if you ever need somebody <'3 updates will be incredibly slow, i apologise in advance, but i’m busy with education as well as other factors. this WILL be continued. please be patient: i’m trying very hard to balance everything.


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